Happy born day to my mama, mama Fredia as my friends call her. On this day we celebrate her and all of her badassery. If you have had the opportunity to meet my mom you realized quickly she is a force to be reckoned with. She’s honest, kind-hearted, creative, adventurous, un-apologetically loud and tons of fun! Yet, she takes crap from no one. It is from her I learned how to become a compassionate badass. Be kind, but let people know that they should not take our kindness for a weakness.
Mom is best known for her boisterous laugh. Her laugh gives you those warm fuzzy feelings that are wrapped up and coated with tenderness. It is her laugh that taught me to be expressive and feel joy from the belly up. If you are going to laugh, do it right. Do it loud and with conviction. Laughter heals!
Over the years I have observed her ability to nurture all those around her, even strangers. Mom has been known to talk to and help all living creatures, humans, animals, trees…..you name it! No one or nothing is ignored. She gives with no expectation of receiving and loves from her core.
As she fights for her life with a recent diagnosis of cancer, she has shown, once again, resilience and strength. Even her approach to cancer has been remarkable. She reminds us all that she is not dying of cancer, but living with cancer. Her positivity and outlook on life remind us all to live fully. The diagnosis has reminded me to live fully and to always remember to show love and express love. I drive to KY every break I get. I have been loving on her so much lately she can barely take it, LOL!
Not only is Fredia my mom, she is my friend, mentor, spiritual guide, and from her I feel the truest most unconditional love. Mama Fredia has equipped me with the life-skills to take on the challenges of life. She has taught me:
1. To enjoy my own company. She always said don’t wait on people to do the things I enjoy. If they cancel get dressed and go!
2. To have faith. God has blessed us every step of the way. There is a lesson and a reason.
3. It is ok to be alone. Don’t be with someone to fill a void, you could end up still feeling lonely.
4. Don’t give with the expectation of receiving. Do not give a gift that you want, take time to think of the other person and what would make “them” feel special. Gift giving is an art, not everyone is good at it.
5. Spend a little….. buy yourself something nice. Don’t be too cheap, you will pay for it later!
6. Worrying doesn’t change the situation. Let it go. (this has been the hardest one for me to grasp!)
7. Don’t lend your friends clothes, you might not get them back. (I loved this one)
8. Don’t wait on people to get things done. Learn how to do things yourself and learn how to do for yourself.
I have learned so much from how my mom has lived her life. She loved until it almost broke her, she healed, she sacrificed, she taught, she embraced, she forgave, and she lived on her own terms. She is an artist and creative soul. Growing up I watched her make clothes, upholster furniture, paint walls, fix appliances, mow the lawn, and just create. She does it all. I aspire to be as gregarious and creative as she. I am all over the place, because my mama is all over the place. I get it from my mama y’all!
In short, but not really short, to my BFF, mom……… happy birthday and thank you! Thank you for being a friend and being the best travel buddy I could ever have. Thank you for your advice and guidance. But most importantly, thank you for always being true to yourself and loving me and Phillip unconditionally. Thank you for being both a mother and father to us both. Thank you for the tough love, the tender love and the forgiving love. We love and adore you so much we drive you crazy, lol. It’s funny how the tables have turned. We know the love is mutual and we are blessed to have each other.
Happy Birthday mom and always remember you are truly a phenomenal woman and I will always see you as the compassionate badass I aspire to be! I love you to no end.