I’m All Over the Place, so being still aint a strength of mine! Stillness has been forced up on me since last August. It was as if God said to me “child sit your butt down somewhere and listen; be still.” I did as I was told and listened and impatiently embraced stillness. It was difficult, but I realized if I didn’t create stillness God would. When I tried to break from the stillness to speed up the pace, even just a little bit, I would get sick, my leg would go out, I’d break out into hives, a family emergency would happen, or a work crisis would surface.
In an effort to help you understand my struggles, here are a few examples of stillness being forced upon me. Last weekend I was ready for several grand biking adventures. Friday morning I went to get my bike, only to realize it was stolen, it had been chained to the basements wall in my condo building!!!… be still. I didn’t want to be still, so I borrowed a bike for the 1st day of my adventures, but guess what? It had a flat tire, got the tire fixed and then the chain messed up; I took that to mean I should chill out the rest of the weekend…be still. This week I had big plans, which included friends, working out and a drive to KY. All that was put to rest when I got a cold and then had to do allergy patch testing that required avoiding water and sweating for the WHOLE week. Exercise routine and travel plans were shot down…once again, rest and be still. This has been my life for the past ten months, just when I think I can pick up the pace a little I am forced to sit my ass down!
This week, I listened. I cancelled my personal training session and my trip to KY. Mon-Thursday….no training, no dinners, no dancing, no fun….just me being still. Every evening…. pray, reflect, meditate, write, and repeat. As I struggle through these moments of stillness my mom reminds me to embrace it. Everyone keeps telling me God is preparing me for something, “so be patient.” I am doing my best, as I know God is preparing me for growth, love, loss and all the uncertainties. I am learning, evolving and growing; I am grateful. My life is full of blessings, even in this phase of stillness I have traveled and played a bit, but just not at my pace. Maybe this is my new pace……………….
Photo by: Elaine Lee @ Ugogurl.com